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Channel: Humorous Interludes by Ron Yarosh » Advice
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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 13th, 2012

Aries… Venus is upset with Mars because he hasn’t called her after their first date. Don’t make any long range plans until they make up. Stayed tuned. Taurus… Uranus is in trine with your rubber ducky....

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Yummy!

Here’s something I wrote a few years back. It was an entry for Video Maker Magazine’s, Short Video Contest. It won second prize. Its had quite a few views on YouTube over the years. It’s a spoof of...

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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 20th, 2012

Aries… Your ruling planet, Mars is facing an uprising from the serfs. You will find yourself very uncomfortable after your laundry comes back with too much starch. Taurus… Venus thinks Scorpio cheated...

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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of May 27th, 2012

Aries… Mars was in transit with the moon, but was thrown off the bus for being rowdy. You will be locked in a dungeon with an insurance salesman for an entire weekend. Taurus…Venus is aligned with the...

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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of June 3rd, 2012

Aries… Pluto and Mars are feuding again. You will find a note in your cereal. Follow it to the letter. Bring three forms of identification with you. Taurus… Venus wants to leave the Zodiac and form her...

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Your “Horror”-scope for the week of June 10th, 2012

Aries… Mercury is in trine with Venus. Your arches will sue you for non support. Taurus… You will laugh uncontrollably when someone whispers the word “uggums” in your ear. Gemini…  Mercury, Venus, and...

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Your “Horror”- scope for the week of June 24th, 2012

Love is in the air this week as the planets do some dirty orbiting with each other  in space. Aries… Your moon has reached its zenith. You will co-star in a movie with a gerbil and fall madly in love...

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Your HORROR – scope for the week of July 8th, 2012

Aries…Mars is square with Venus.  Avoid all oral arguments. Stay away from your dentist this week. Taurus… Neptune is passing it’s high point. Your obsessive fear of the dark will be cured after you...

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Your HORROR – scope for the week of July 29th, 2012

Aries… The moon is trine with the river Rhine. You will have the urge to use the word aardvark in every sentence you speak this week. Taurus… The sun has crossed the elliptic of Uranus. You’d better...

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Your HORROR – scope for the week of Aug 12th, 2012

Aries… Mars is firm about this: Stay away from German cuisine this week. You will sneeze every time you hear someone say Braunschweiger, or Dennis Miller. Taurus…The sun is in juxtaposition with...

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Your HORROR – scope for the week of June 23rd, 2013

Venus waxes Uranus wanes, On Earth there are torrential rains.   Our moon is full, Sometimes it’s not, There is no doubt, the sun is hot.   Some orbs are trine, Others are square, While they revolve...

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